Friday, April 1, 2016

What Not To Say To Pregnant Women

Pregnant women undergo a lot of changes - emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and of course, physically. Their bodies prepare for the new life inside of them, and these changes are sometimes (okay, most of the time) not very flattering. When I was pregnant, I hated posting pictures of myself on social media because I detested the comments from my friends. I did post some pictures on some occasions mainly because my parents (who are in a different continent) wanted to see the progress. I also took some pictures of myself because I wanted a documentation of my pregnancy, but I never took them online. I hated it when people commented on the way I looked. I know my nose has grown the size of a tomato and my body has doubled in volume - I see it in the mirror. Every. Single. Day. I don't need others to tell me that.

Left Pic: Prior to Pregnancy; Right: During my pregnancy at 8 months - Look how different I look!

But of course I would have to endure all those comments for the next 9 months when I met with friends, relatives and other people. I love my friends, my co-workers, my family, and my relatives, but them constantly reminding me of my pregnancy changes kind of hit my nerves. Maybe that's why I constantly decline invitations to meet up and go out. (Sorry, guys!)

So now that I've been there, done that, I'd like to share some comments that really kind of offended me when I was all puffy from my pregnancy. I'd like to remind my friends to please proceed with caution when talking to a pregnant lady. She needs to be commended for going through the process of blossoming into a beautiful mother, not criticized for her giant toes. I always think twice before I comment on a friend's photo during her pregnancy because I know the feeling each and every comment makes! Here are some comments to avoid when talking to a pregnant woman:

You're not due yet?
Oh, I'm already due but I like to keep my baby inside my tummy, so there. Uhm, I know my belly is huge, but when I'm due, I'd be in the hospital or at home. You're probably telling me my tummy is so large, but I can see that as well. Preggy moms are also anxious to hold their little ones and to get over with labor and delivery (and get rid of this puffiness) as soon as possible. Asking us if we're not due yet isn't making us excited, it's irritating.

You're huge!
Oh yes, I am. I gained 30% of my body weight, my belly is bulging, and I walk like a penguin. But of course you just had to say it to my face. Really? Sometimes stating the obvious can be so annoying, especially when you're annoyed about your size already. It's like telling people they're fat. And who would want to be called fat?

You must be having a boy.
In the Philippines, having a girl means you're a blooming, preggy mom and your pregnancy actually made you a lot prettier. On the contrary, when you're having a boy, it means all the hormones in your body have gone bonkers and you've transformed into a beast. Okay, that may be too extreme, but basically when people tell you you're having boy, it's not a compliment. Either your neck has darkened more than the usual, or your fingers have become ginormous, the point is, you're ugly. I hated it when people asked me if I was having a boy when I knew that I was already having a girl! It's so insulting!

You're so manas. (you are so swollen.)
Again, stating the obvious. I can see that everyday, when I look at my reflection. It's not like I have a choice here. I know I'm already puffy because of these changes, why do you have to rub it in?

Mabigat? (Is it heavy?)
Oh no, it's like I haven't pooped for a week. Hello, I'm carrying a new life inside my belly, of course it's heavy! It's like I'm carrying 3 1-Liter bottles of Coke every. single. day. every. single. night. Please do not ask me again because I am already exhausted and breathless from all the weight I carry.

Although some of these statements did offend me, I was reassured by my family that I am still beautiful. So ladies, don't feel too bad about the way you look. Pregnancy is a very natural process and the way nature designed all these changes is just beautiful. With all our hormones going bonkers, we are allowed some level of negativity. But overall, I think we should always look at the bright side and embrace these changes. After all, it only takes a few months before we hold our precious little one.



  1. Nice read Pats. I used to get 'Are you having twins?' esp on last trimester which equates to 'You're huge!' Haha!:)

  2. Buti walang "who's the dad?" Lol

    1. Hahaha grabe kaka-kasal ko lang nun!

  3. When they ask you how far along are you and comment "x months pa lang yan???" Ay, hindi. Kakasabi ko lang dba?